Warp 9.......Engage.

Sometimes I think, if it weren't for bad luck, I 'd have no luck at all.  I seem to have a little bad luck when I travel back to Far From Home.  In the past I have been delayed in landing due to weather and cancelled flights due to weather.  This time time was no exception, however I did arrive but almost didn't.

This time to make my connection to my final destination I had to fly to Montreal, to catch the flight I would normally catch in Ottawa.  Apparently there were no flights from Toronto to Ottawa, if you're like me, you'd ask, "How is it possible to have no flights from Toronto to Ottawa, when they normally have 20 or more a day"?  A fair question to be sure but nonetheless it happened. 

 As a result of having to fly to Montreal to catch my connection (the originating city of the flight) I had to move my normal travel plans up by an hour.  So instead of having my limo driver coming to pick me up at 6:00 AM (the norm), I requested that I be picked up 5:00 AM for my 7:00 AM flight to Montreal.  I receive a confirmation email that my pick up and drop times are noted.

So not so bright and early Sunday morning, I await the limo.  Most times my driver,

I dub thee Mangit.

arrives early, other times he arrives right on time.  For me at least, he has never been late.  That is until yesterday.  The time is 5:05 AM, Mangit is nowhere to be seen.  I call him and unfortunately I wake him up.  What I had feared has happened.  When he received my email for pickup/drop off times, Mangit didn't fully read the email.  He assumed (and you know what they say about that) that I was to be picked up at 6:00 AM.

Mangit is appropriately upset and shocked.  He says if I can wait he will be at my place in twenty-five minutes to which I reply, "As long as you can make it here by 5:45 AM".  At 5:35 AM Mangit is rocketing up my street.  I quickly load my baggage and we're off.

Mangit is a limo driver in a large urban area, and as such drives at extreme high rates of speed on a normal day.  Sunday morning he was like the Winston Wolf character in Pulp Fiction.  He drove really fucking fast.  We we're at the airport by 6:15 AM.  Mangit's speedometer is measured in miles per hour, he was doing over 90 mph!! 

That trip was just a bit intense and a little surreal.  I say surreal because just moments before the 5:00 AM arrival I chanced to smoke a small bowl of the current stash I have for home (a mixture of high octane “coma inducing weed” and a potent long lasting mellow weed ) and was actually quite high when I got into the limo (a large black Chevy Suburban).  That's probably why I wasn't freaking out, too stoned to care. 

Have I Become Spicoli?

For those of you, who may not know, I have recently re-discovered the joys of smoking pot. After a self imposed dry spell of roughly 23 years.  Let me qualify that!  Dry only in the sense that I was not purchasing it.  I would of course turn no toke down, had it been offered to me but there wasn't all that much offering happening.  So 23 years between purchases, let's just say.

A gentleman I've made acquaintance with at the place I work has re-introduced me back into the culture.  The main reason for the self imposed dry spell was the lack of a disposable income that would afford me the ability to purchase my supply of smokables.  As luck would have it, this gentleman is also my supervisor on the project I am currently at work on.  That job allows me to use a per Diem, non-taxable and no receipts required.  That gives me a little extra cashish and a connection to some very high grade weed with relative ease. 

I have posted in the past about my family's perceived notion that I am de-evolving as a result of my work situation, being Far From Home.  That as a result of being Far From Home thus away from "civilization", that I am losing my socialization skills.  I myself attribute that "de-evolving" as the affects or after affects of all of the high quality weed I have been smoking for the last 4 going 5 months.

To be frank, I have even noticed what Wife and Daughter attribute to my condition.  Case and point.

Two days ago, while driving back home for an outing, as I approached our mailbox location (maybe 175 yards away), I asked Wife if she had gotten the mail, "No", she replied.  "Okay " I say, just to drive past the mailbox and not get the mail.  All the while Wife and Daughter laughing their fucking asses off because of the short span it took for me to forget that I wanted to get the mail.  That thought to get the mail exited my thoughts as soon as I volunteered for the job.

That sort of behaviour evokes, in my mind anyway, the stereotypical pothead a la Jeff Spicoli.  The scene that comes to mind is when he is on the phone talking about the grad party, hitting himself on the head with his shoe, not even feeling it, "Did you hear that, that's my head.  I'm soo wasted!" 

If anything is changing or de-evolving it's that I am becoming that persona.  The lovable forgetful wastoid.  A happy go lucky pot smoker.  Just living the day.  With a slight buzz on.

I can live with that.

A Brief Break

Constant Reader,
I have tried, since this blog was started, to post something everyday.  Whether it's a short article with an attempt at humour.  It might be a video clip or an article from a newspaper or some other site that I find humourous.  I make a comment, with the fervent hope that one day, one special day, somebody will make a comment and a discourse of ideas will flow.  We can then have a conversation.  A man has to dream.

However for the next few days, I will be dropping by to see if one of the other contributors have posted anything (so that I may comment on it, see how that works), but I will not be publishing anything. 

I am once again home after being away for three weeks and I will be spending that time with my family enjoying the outdoors as spring slowly gives way to summer.  I will also be sampling another fine batch of weed.  Where do you find it Male Counterpart?  See you in a few days.  Please drop by as often as you wish and feel free to sample the wares.

Lets All Do A Sing-Along

I may be dating myself................

She said Uranus

'Nuff said.

Munchies!!

Not a good place to be if you have the munchies.

Incoming!!

With a name like redneckmoose, you should expect the result.  Definately not watchers of Mythbusters. LMFAO.

New Song I'm Working On

This is the new song I am learning on the guitar.  The rythm guitar player Frank "Poncho" Sampedero's work on the studio version is utterly amazing.  Unfortunatley Neil does this version solo.  One of my all time favourite Neil Young and Crazy Horse songs.

We destroyed music

It occurred to me recently that we've destroyed music. No, there is lots of tunes out there, a good piece of it is pretty good too. No we destroyed music by removing what was for me a huge piece of the experience of it. Trolling through the stacks of the record store .. hell there were afternoons spent in record stores with a buzz on flipping through the stacks ... I miss that. Even the HMVesk store added a sterile corporate view to the poster and edgy feel of old school record stores.

I miss album covers or more to the point album art work which was a bonus in retrospect. The sometimes funny, sometimes socially relevant but almost always thought provoking album art disappeared about the time cds hit the shelves .. or more to the point less significant in the grande scheme. The liner notes, the producer ,the recording studio, the lyrics all lent something to the experience of rushing home to spin that new album, looking back cds were only the start of the erosion. You were in my mind more engaged in the music, understood the source better it was simply MORE. I love music, many styles, artists, the catalogue of certain artists work, where they came from, where they got to. Music, as has most media, become far too disposable, we're not as engaged by it on so many levels.

Besides I was cleaning up some sticks from a quad and realized it would have been easier if I had an album cover I no longer had.

I can't wait.....

This is what awaits me when I get home.  Good buds and family,
what could be better?

Long Live Rock 'n' Roll

Has it really been a year since Ronnie James Dio left us?!  I only have one thing to say....

LoL this is for all the wives and girlfriends out there...

Gotta Go?

Are we as the male of the species that lazy?



Wait a sec.....peeing.....ahhhh.......where was I?

New Restaurant Fad?

This does solve the need for dishwashers, but who is responsible for cleaning the tables?  Maybe you have lick the table clean?
Ewwwww!!

Bad Parenting

Ooohh baby....ohhh yeah....ooooo....yeah

I think that these pictures fall under the category of bad parenting.




















Wmmm mmm mmmm hmmm lmmmmm
(loosely translated, watch Mommie and learn)





Pay close attention to the looks on the childrens faces.

How To Feel Your Nuts

I guess this something that each man, as he gets older, should submit to.  I'd much prefer her feeling my nuts!  A task, immeasurably more fun, when aided by a partner of your choosing and/or with a slight buzz on.

Then again, what isn't more fun, with a slight buzz on?

Slight Bummer

I came to a sad realization last night.  During my evening puff, I decided that I would use my Magic Flight Launch Box.  It has suited me well in my stay Far From Home.  Using it to sample the local greenery, when it can be found.

After the first two hits, I don't feel it like I'm thinking I should.  I have posted about this already.  I'm not feeling as stoned as I get when I smoke the same amount in a pipe.  So now I'm thinking about the last three months.  It's almost like I wasted all the weed I was smoking in it!

Live and learn.  It's unfortunate that's the way is has to be.  At the time it was well worth the money it cost to purchase the Launch Box.  I am seeing more benefit at this point to go back to pipe smoking than with remaining the Launch Box, maybe use it once in a while instead.

Fisherman's Friend here I come!!

RRRRRRRRRR.......

CANOE -- JAM: Maxim's 'Hot 100' list


Some lovely ladies to look at while you're having your morning puff.  After having perused the entire list, I have to wonder what the fuck were the judges smoking, when choosing some of the "Hot 100".  There are quite a number of "Not So Hot, Hot 100". 

Word of warning, close your eyes when you get to number 84 on the "Hot 100".  Yikes!!  Why the long face, honey?  She's apt to scare you straight.  Caution is strongly advised when viewing that "Hottie"!!

Sperm Collector

Win? Win?



Sperm Collector

The science behind beer goggles...admit it, we've all done this

It's time for everyone to come out of the closet on this one.  We've all done it.  A few of you may even have done it last night.  I'm not ashamed to say I've done it myself...once...twice...OK...more than twice.

C'mon people.  SPEAK UP!!  I know there are people reading this blog.  Let's hear what you have to say.  Take a chance and voice an opinion; relate a story, good, bad or funny. 

Quit hiding and start a fucking dialog!!


The science behind beer goggles Sex Files Life Toronto Sun

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mothers Day to all the mothers of the world.  Life is better because of you.  An especially Happy Mothers Day to my mother and the mother of my children.  I love you both very much!!<3

Inmate breaks up fight between guards

Who's running this asylum anyways???


Inmate breaks up fight between guards Weird News Toronto Sun

Woman sues ex-husband over impotence | Weird | News | Toronto Sun

Woman sues ex-husband over impotence Weird News Toronto Sun

Sometimes there's just no pleasing the fairer sex, some women just want it all. 

The Smaller It Gets The Further It Goes

It amazes me how the smallest things can make the biggest impacts.  Like having something that diminishes over time.

One day you have it. Whatever it is.  You have enough.  Then slowly, steadily it diminishes. You notice it one day.  It seems like there's less.  You rationalize.  You still have enough....don't you?

Everyday it dwindles, less and less.  You start to ration it out.  The smaller it gets the further its gotta go.  Then one day, you're down to the last precious

gollum

remains.  You're a little sad.  You've been looking to replace it, but it doesn't seem to be around.  Things start to seem a little more grey, a little more muted.

Miraculously, one day  it falls right into your lap!  Right in the nick of time!!  You get a jump in your step.  You once again have enough.  That small little surprise changes your outlook.  No longer as grey, no longer as muted.

Ahhh.  Let me sit back and enjoy this little surprise.  Yeah, that's more like it!  'Ere, take it. 

Enjoy.

What Day Is This?

When I am Far From Home at work, the days seem to meld into one long day.  Most days I really don't know what day it is!!  I was talking with Daughter last night on the phone.  I had been trying to tell her about what I was doing on certain days so far, and kept getting the days mixed up.  Finally I had to ask her what day it was.

She immediately attributed that to the de-socialized animal she and Wife believe I am morphing into.  I, of course discredited those findings and told her that I believe it has to do with the way we have ourselves scheduled to work here.  We work long hours during  the work week as well as on weekends.  So the perception, at least during the daylight hours, is that we are always working, cooped up in our "lab", with our intravenous feed of the Internet, jonesing for work.

As I was talking with Daughter, I realized that it is only going to get worse.  Right now, Far From Home is gaining large amounts of daylight every day.  To the point that in late May early June we will have about 20 hours of day light.  The working hours, melding into one long day, will really turn into one long day!!

AAAAAUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

Then of course, it could be the weed I'm smoking too.

Clowns Anyone?

Anybody scared of clowns?  Say hi to Pennywise.  The most evilist of clowns.

He hungers for your children.  Muahahahahaha!!!

TD Smokemeister Bids Farewell.

Time for a new pseudonym.  I wasn't real all that happy with the other one.  That name has it's place, but as a "by line" it felt a little pretentious.  The new one may also seem that way, not sure yet.  We'll see how it works, how it grows on me.  Plays on words are always fun.  This may yet be a work in progress.  I am open to suggestions.

.........and no w8n4night, Bug Boy is not a viable option.

Googled

Google never ceases to amaze or fail to make me laugh!  I Googled "monkey pigout" in images.  I thought I may find a plethora of pictutes of monkeys eating, you know, pigging out.  I was trying to find some humourous inspiration, what can I say?  Amongst 27,300 hits, I found this picture.  Join me in saying,

"What the fuck, are they being chased away or lured in.  More to the point...why"?

Online date goes horribly wrong - Weird News - Canoe.ca

Online date goes horribly wrong - Weird News - Canoe.ca


Is anyone else thinking what I'm thinking?  What right does she have?  She showed up for fucks sake!!

Bitch Stewie & Bitch Brian

Whew!! That's a relief!!

I was really worried there for a while last night.  As you may or may not know, I returned to my job, "Far From Home" yesterday.  After spending a week smoking some of the best shit I've smoked in years (I can say that with complete honesty after an out of necessity self imposed dry spell of seven years), I became worried that I had spoiled myself.

After unpacking yesterday, I didn't really feel like doing much.  Probably a little "whoa is me club" time.  Just wanted to sit on my ass and smoke some of the stash I have here.  Not as high quality as what I have currently down south, but still very good. 

There are differences to what and how I smoke here at work "Far From Home".
Needless to say the quality is far superior southward.  The local version for what passes as weed, is smokeable albeit raunchy.  When compared to the present strain at home, you would have to smoke a gram (worth $30.00, I bought a half at home, to get the same amount I would have had to spend close to $300.00) to get as high as I would off of one pipe hit.

When at home, I smoke from a brass pipe called a Proto Pipe, smelly but very effective.  It does not require screens (I use 'em anyway, I don't like eating while I smoke).

 


When "Far From Home" I use what is called Magic Flight Launch Box.  A battery powered vapourizer.

If you have never tried vapourizing, I would recommend that you at least try it.  It IS supposed to be healthier because your not "smoking" it.  The weed never burns (almost never anyways, it did ignite on me once in the launch box, it's not supposed to but what can you do when it starts smoking inside the chamber, am I not gonna inhale it).  The device heats up to a certain temperature and the "super happy fun time stuff" vapourizes and you inhale the vapour.  A little bit of a different high.  More of a body high, compared to the spike that goes straight to my brain after one hit of the "Tar'lito" (as I've dubbed it).

I wasn't really "feeling it", if you know what I mean Vern.  That was until I got up to move around and then it was, "Ohh Yeah, that's it".  All the while, from like 3:00 pm until 7:00 pm, after a number of hits from the Launch Box, and not really feeling I was getting worried that to get the full effect I would have to smoke my entire stash (not very large at this point) to get the same effect, not that I WOULDN'T GLADLY, do it, I don't want to go dry up here.  I've done it before, and it wasn't pretty.

How I felt when I came back to "Far From Home"

The election

Not much into politics anymore, past a certain point you can get pretty jaded, truth is a good chunk of life has the potential to jade you. Politically speaking I'm more of a Libertarian which should say quite a bit of who I am.

I've voted a lot of times, about every 2-3 elections I'm sure that "this will be the one where we get weed legalized" I'm past the point of caring really, my reliance on external sources for high quality herb has been lessened, my risk of getting caught is extremely low to nil ... I don't exactly fit the demographic profile anymore and I own my own place. I'd say the odds are in my favor.

The point is .. its still illegal and charges of any kind could be career ending and seriously damaging a reputation I've worked hard to foster. Its not right, I'm not nor have I ever been a criminal. So don't make it legal, at this point I could care less .. but do de-criminalize it. For most people the "criminal" activity, if any was being forced to wade through the bars and friends of friends to buy it and then transport it anywhere and everywhere, usually in a situation where we did fit the profile. We're not criminals, the government needs to stop ruining lives and careers over a joint or a bowl. Issue me summary conviction tickets at 100.00 a shot for up to a half ounce and up to 300.00 for a couple ozs. Based on history alone I'll never have to pay the fine. Don't support legalizing it either, as I said at this point I could care less, just stop creating criminals where there aren't any.

I will now climb off my soapbox a soapstone a wee small bowl.

New Author

I would like to welcome a very close personal friend to our list of authors for this Blog.  I have known this person for like ever.  He is posting under the name w8n4night and has graciously agreed to publish some posts, event though it's new for him.  Please join me in welcoming our newest author.

The First Day Of The Beginning Of The End

Today the end begins! 

"Ends?", you ask, "what ends?"  My sanity?  A fair guess, my sanity has slowly been eroding for years.  It's not a stretch to believe that the current job has finally scraped away what little sanity I do have.  No, not my sanity.

The end of the world?  No silly, everyone knows that doesn't happen until next year and by all accounts survivours spend a lot of time outracing shockwaves and tsunami's.  No, the world isn't ending......not yet.

The end that I am referring to is the end of my elongated tour of work.  I am officially at the halfway point.  From today forward, the number of days start to get smaller.  When I volunteered for this longer tour, I had no idea how it was going to affect me.  I can say with 100% certainty, six months is far too long.  During my most recent week off one thought kept recurring; if I were working a normal rotation, I wouldn't have had to fly back to my "home" away from home.

I have arrived safely back to my work home.  So far, not much has changed.  Not much to do but watch some T.V. and get high.  The weather is a little warmer, the roads a little muddier and my eyes are still open for the Scumbag Dealer.  I'll see him again, I'm sure.  In the meantime, I have come to terms with the current job and how it sits.  They have once again said "It's going to get real busy now".  Pardon me for saying but "I'll believe that when I see it".

I should also ask Constant Reader, to keep you're eyes glued to the news for a middle aged technician going crazy in his condo, glued to his chair in front of his laptop, most likely publishing a blog post.  The screen filled with:

All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.

I'm Walking ... Yes Indeed I'm Walking

As I get older I've come to realize how little use I have for winter. It's hard to explain beyond it feeling like a breaker gets thrown and we slip into hibernation. But winters over !

Golf has started, I've got 5 in so far and found out today I can't play three in a row and have my legs hold my swing ... it got a little adventurous this morning. I've been walking after dinner for a couple weeks now a good hour at a decent pace. It's also my favorite time to include a couple quick hits and listen my newest song list at a volume that would injure weaker men. One note though, if your going to have a couple hits and get right into your walk remember one thing ... you have to walk back ! Walked a straight line from the house last night and near needed to call a cab to get home when I realized how far I'd walked.

Aside from everything else its spring, golf season is underway and a couple hits and a walk at 16C or so is infinitely better then -20C