Top 5 Gifts Of All Time

Here are the top five all time gifts.  I must say I have to agree!  What happened to the good old days?  I'm talking about the kind of lifestyle you see in the classic Christmas movie "The Christmas Story".  That 1940's era oblivious to the worlds ills type of naivete.  Where these items were just being replaced with the modern equivalent.  

Fuck You, You Know Who I Mean!!

I wish I could really open up and say just exactly what is on my mind.  The last 48 hours have been rather eventful.  I have been taken off of a project that the sole impetus to remain on the job was monetary remuneration.


Having said that, I feel that I have left certain parties down and feel somewhat obligated to acquiesce to popular demand and do what is necessary to re-gain the loss of income.  My first thought (I was recently told that your first thought is the correct thought) was one of relief,  thank God I don't have to go back there.  There are those other parties (bless their souls) who from a somewhat selfish outlook have gone to the wall for me, who I would just leave well enough alone.


His thought is to try and talk them into having me come back.  If they didn't want me in the first place, why would I go back after someone has twisted their collective arms into allowing me to return.  If that (and it's a pretty big if) happens I'm quite certain that I will tell them in no uncertain terms to go fuck themselves.


By the way this particular rant is fuelled by some pretty amazing weed and a number of Crown and Cokes and Rum and Cokes.  WooHoo!!  Party on Wayne!  Rock on Garth!

The End Of an Era?

Dear Constant Reader,


I have received some news today about my work Far From Home.  It appears that I may no longer be welcome there.


Firstly, how dare they?!  What quality in me do they not welcome compared to some of the rabble that currently fill their positions?


Secondly, oh well!!  It's really not like I'm going to miss working there, if you call sitting on your ass for six months solid doing bupkus work!?!?  I will miss the monetary remuneration.


Thirdly, fuck 'em if they can't take a joke!!  If they don't want me I certainly don't not want to back and work there under their scrutiny.  Being replaced on that job will not affect my current duties in any way.  Who needs them!?


Just wanted to get that out there in some way.  I can't say the things I want to say, to the people I want to say them to, without fear of reprisals, for not only myself but for certain others as well.


Deeeeeep breath in.................exhale..................ahhhhhhhh


There............better now.

Dog Toy POV

LMFAO!!

Vindication

I knew it!  Finally after all these years I have a valid excuse.

Swedish Smarts

Not sure just who the smartest one, is in this story.

Do my reddened eyes deceive me?

Wicked!!

Huh?

Huh?  How do they get there?  AWESOME..........but weird! :S

Is This True?!?

I wonder if this is true.   Please feel free to comment.

Feeling Odd

I'm feeling a little strange these days Constant Reader.  You see, my time here at home is dwindling and drawing ever nearer to when I go back to working Far From Home.  7 weeks.  49 days including week ends.  Then 63 working days of confusion, stress, boredom, being absolutely frozen and high at the same time, interspersed with three weeks of banked time off for good behaviour.


One thing that may be a good result is that I will have a little more free time to commit to posting to this Blog on a more constant basis.  But only time will tell.  


Currently I am working towards building a nest egg from which to purchase the first allotment of weed for my time away from home.  Once I begin working Far From Home the cash flow becomes a little better for my needs.


When once again away and working I'm sure I will be able to find plenty of muse and inspiration to keep me and hopefully you Constant Reader suitably entertained and otherwise occupied.


Stay tuned........

E may not necessarily equal mc2

This article just blows my mind.  Unbelievable, who would have thought that Albert Einstein was wrong?  If proven in further testing these findings could alter the course of history.  Who hasn't wished that a future self, could send some sort of message back through time warning of impending doom, monetary loss, loved ones passing away.........if I'd only been a little sooner!!

Really??!!

How can they not see this as a bad idea?!

Look Out Behind Me!

I feel sorry for the poor bastard who happened to be behind this lightweight.

The Garage Sale

There wasn't much to do yesterday, other than the more mundane things in life.  Woke up, showered, ate breakfast and got groceries, as we do most Saturdays.  The Wife and I were to go to the home of the Evil Stepmother, as she has come to be known in recent years.  We had about an hour to kill.
  
So we sat down to watch some TV.  My favourite episode of That '70's Show was on.  "The Garage Sale".  For those of you who have not seen the show please bare with me.  For those of you who do.........this is the episode where Red and Kitty get high.  I had earlier gone out and had  puff or two with my fishy friend.


Hyde's contribution to the sale was a batch of brownies.  "Special" and regular.  As Kitty says "Steven I know what your special ingredient is.........love".  LMAO, hilarious.  It was opportune as well, being high and watching that episode with Son and The Wife and seeing their laughter at the situation.  Both thought it was pretty funny, I found it funnier because as the episode progresses Forman and Hyde turn into Red and Kitty.  They sit Red down and begin to chew him out in a complete role reversal.  Complete with Red's slightly hallucinogenic view of the walls moving behind them as they give him the third degree.  I have been in that same situation many a time as a young adult.


It's funny how we see things slightly askew when high.  I also have to add at this point that this post was written about two weeks prior to this posting.  After having a puff or two and re-reading this, I'm not sure what was so particular about that situation that inspired me to write about it.  I don't think it's poorly written.  A point of view.  The thing that strikes me as I read it, is that I have been in the the chair watching the walls move and then in that situation I must have seen myself as Red too.  The adult watching the walls move.


I'll leave it up to you Constant Reader. 

For Those Who Like Goats

This is way too funny!!

Ahh...............the things we do to entertain ourselves when high.

True Inspiration!!

I find myself, once again having to apologize to anyone who may still be visiting here from time to time.  To be honest...I haven't felt inspired to write anything.  I found myself having to get use to quite a few things.  Work, to be the toughest.  A situation between a certain other and myself came to "Certain Other" shouting at me over the phone, and me hanging up.  I called back 10 minutes later to have a rational discussion.  But I digress.......................

The inspiration I have had, is the latest apple pie I baked.  I have made quite a few over the last 12 months and have become something of an expert at it.  My dough is always flaky and the pie filling never runs away.  I have a secret but I will not divulge that in this media.  Suffice it to say, all who have tasted, have raved.

Yesterday though was my crowning achievement.  My apple pie oozed candy from its shell as it baked.  What overflowed from the pie cooked and when slightly cooled turned  into quite a tasty caramel concoction.  Very warm, very chewy, very delicious.

You may turn to me and cry "Liar, we have no proof of your skill".  True my camera batteries are inconviently and sadly drained.  Let me say this.........  A certain follower and sometimes contributor to this blog, can attest to my prowess at pie making.  After pulling it from the oven and tasting it last night I could not keep its deliciousness a secret.  You have only my word  regarding the Candy Making Apple Pie, but I would never kid of such things.

Apologies

I must apologize to you Constant Reader, in my haste to leave my duties Far From Home, I have become remiss in my duties of keeping this blog up to date.  Frankly I have been enjoying myself getting re-acquainted with my friends and family.  Not to mention returning to my normal duties here in "the South".

My final week off of my final rotation was absolutely perfect.  The weather here was stiflingly hot with high humidex factors.  One day that week the temperature with humidex factored in was 50C.  So I have in fact experienced what I feel to be an extreme.  In February of this year I experienced -50c.  July 21, 2011 was when I experienced the 50C day.

The week was a typical week in all aspects.  I fired up the BBQ on many occasions, taxied the kids to their various appointments and commitments.  A few around the home chores.  Mow the lawn, spread mulch in the back garden.  Things that did not get done earlier in the spring due to not enough time on the week off or foul weather.

Son and I committed ourselves to watching 3 seasons of a particularly interesting and entertaining show.  That task completed I now must catch up on shows I watch with Daughter. 

Another benefit of returning south was the remaining stash of my last purchase.  Most of the goings on that I performed, occurred with a slight buzz on.  This, of course, only added to the total relaxation and lifting of weight from my shoulders knowing that the following Sunday did not include me travelling by air to Far From Home.

As mentioned earlier, I have been remiss in my duties to this blog.  This was mostly due to my insistance to myself to change or put off kilter whatever routine I had while Far From Home and re-create an at home routine.  I have slowly been adapting a routine and have added posting to All In A Circle to that routine.  I will set aside time, if not nightly, at least weekly, of  scratching out my musings.

All of course with a slight buzz on. ;p

Interesting side note; as I pen this, I had to take a break to re-position my lawn sprinkler and take a quick hit from my down south Fishermans Friend.  Man it's good to be home.

Cool Pictures

Some cool shots of the night sky down under.  Spark up a bowl and click here to view all the images.

Nice Rides

In Memorandum

                                  December 8, 1943 to July 3, 1971

I Just Want It All To Be Over

I guess it's about time to post something. 

To tell you the truth I haven't really had that much to feel inspired about.  I am in the final three weeks of my 6 month rotation.  My every waking thought these last few days has been of finishing here and going home.  One thought above all has been forefront amongst the multitude of images from home.  Arriving home on that Saturday night, to the happy faces of my family, and knowing that on the following Sunday I do not have to fly away again.  That one thought, that dream, is what I am focusing on to sustain me during the upcoming weeks.

Work here continues and I have been given a task that I would rather not I not have to concentrate on.  Concentration on that task, makes it hard for me to think about going home.  Makes it feel like working on that task, is postponing me from going home.  It's frustrating too because that is exactly what the customer has asked our team to do on a number of occasions and most recently of me.  They were once again told that our team will not nor ever work past a scheduled fly home date.

During a status meeting held recently, it was decided seemingly at the spur of that moment to replace one of the larger systems in a remote community, solely for appearances sake.  The time line I was provided was to be on site by next Friday.  I have come into some information regarding the readiness of the certain aspects of this particular deployment not being provisioned and that those responsible for that provisioning are away for the next week, putting the task I have been given, at least in my estimation, in jeopardy.  This information, from what I have been told, is in the hands of those that are doing the planning and scheduling of this project.  I was given my task on Tuesday and I am ready.  To this point, the group responsible for the provisioning of the as yet un-provisioned hardware, has not been consulted as to their readiness.

I know this information because I believe I have to know and I know who to ask.  I'm not sure if the customer is aware I know this information or if they are even aware of it themselves.  According to who I was talking to they should know, the document that he was referencing was a document he provided to them on the same date I was given my task.

Until then:

13 days
+1 lighter
+1 Fishermans Friend
+approx. 14 grams of high octane coma inducing weed
=Wasted

Then my dream will be realized.  My sanity may be compromised and I may have de-evolved into a less socialized being but I will have survived.  Wiser.  Never again to agree to work a rotation longer than 3 months. 

French Fry POV

Enjoy life as a discarded fench fry.  Now I can say I've truly lived.

Amazing Picture From The Japan Tsunami

I don' tknow if this picture is a fabrication or not, the site I found it on, claims it to be real. The back story is a camera was found in the debris of a cleanup and this picture was one that was found on the memory stick.  I think it's safe to say the photographer didn't survive, it looks like about 1/2 a second before the wave hit.

Real or not, just imagine.........

A Ride On the Pity Train

The following post, although not written in the spirit intended of this forum, represent my state of mind and being an author of this site, I can post whatever I damn well please!! ;P

It would seem to me that my muse have left me.  I am not feeling all that creative.  Truth be told I've been feeling a little sorry for myself lately.  I have been working Far From Home for almost 5 months of a 6 month rotation now.  The current project is firmly entrenched in governmental red tape, people covering their collective asses and generally milking a situation for all it's worth.  All the while neglecting the resources that have taken time to be away from their families to work here.  Myself and the the three other men who volunteered.

The last time I drafted an article of this nature, the customer, unbeknownst to me, was reading what I was writing.  Unfortunately, they did not agree with my assessment of the situation, got all huffy and for all intents an purposes censored me.  I was asked to take the blog that I was posting my poison pen mail to, down and remove any and all posts that would cast a dark shadow over our current customer.  I will not get into that again. 

Suffice it to say that the situation has caused my usually happy go lucky demeanour to become slightly more acerbic.  I would like to say that those who know me, see me as a glass half-full person.  Here though, in this reality,  my glass is most definitely always half-empty.  I keep asking the waiter to fill it, he says "Yes sir, I'll be right back with that", but he never returns and my glass stays half-empty.

That, along with the 5 months of winter I have lived through, missing my family and with thoughts of feeling trapped in job I cannot get out of while making pretty good money, are making for a grouchy, angry somewhat lazy worker,   Some qualities that will have to be adjusted before I return to work in the real world.

The final nail in the coffin is the sad realization that the stash I have been enjoying over the last 3 weeks is coming to an end.  I am down to the last bowl of my Fisherman's Friend, which will be enjoyed as I watch my Canucks end a 40 year drought and win the Stanley Cup, on the same ice as our Canadian Olympic Men's Hockey Team did in the last Winter Olympics. 

With the last few days remaining on this rotation my intention is to soldier on in my duties, few as they may be, until my final day of July 16, 2011.  After that day I will have 6 months of not having to think about this project in any way shape or form.  That will be someone else's job.

AHHHH, sweet release.

I Want Some Too And The Line Starts Here!

I demand equal rights!!  Women get it all!!



Real Wrath Of God Type Stuff

Check this out!!  A picture taken of the eruption of the volcano in Chile.  The blast is triggering the lightning.  If I was one of the aboriginals of the area, I'd be sacrificing all the virgins of my village, right about now

A New Fad Diet

I wonder how many people are like me?  Like me in this way...

When you get high, you get the munchies.  As long as you don't succumb to the cravings, you're OK.  As soon as you put something down your throat into your stomach, you come down like a hookers G-string!!

I ask this, because an acquaintance of mine does not react this way.  According to him, he'll get the munchies, scarf down whatever he's craving and remain high?!? 

I'd like some of that please?

For me, over the years, it has been an on going war over giving into my baser instincts, totally mowing down on whatever is front of me.  Over showing restraint and passing on the gluttony to further enjoy the trip. 

This got me to thinking...maybe I can start a new fad diet!?  We'll call it the "Weed Diet, not only for the overweight, it's for the weak willed too!" (cue '50's style finger plucking violin music) 

"If you're like me, weak willed and overweight, the Weed Diet will change your life.  The secret is in the weed.  After you smoke some, you will get a craving for junk food, don't give into that craving and eventually you'll lose weight.  If you give into the screaming munchies you'll get fat, but who cares.....you'll be high! no weed is supplied by this distributor, all police action as a result of the downward spin into the drug culture are at the users own peril.  Side affects that may occur include red eyes, forgetfulness and paranoia."

It's worked wonders for me!!

Yeh man.. 85 and still taking hits off of her grandson's pipe!

A good walk surrounded by bad golf

I play golf ... a lot of golf its one of my true passions. I also enjoy smoking great bong fodder, I have a buddy who's a greens keeper at a course I play at and its because of weed we met. I play early early in the a.m. and he works early as you'd expect. I came up on him early one morning while he was mid exhale and damn near gave him heart failure. I laughed and pressed on. We started nodding back and forth as time went on we'd chuckle back and forth over the private joke.
As time has gone on we've become close golf buddies too, he has a degree in horticulture and runs a bedding plant, tree and cooking herb business at his home and works for the golf club in the summer. He also grows extremely high end weed, true connoisseur one hit lay you out speaking in tongues weed which he sells me dirt dirt cheap. Despite smoking weed for over 35 years he's taught me more about weed then I thought there was to know. Yesterday he taught something else ... weed and golf don't mix, at least not if your intent is to play well

He has a harvest of a strain known as AK-47 right now the morning started out raining a bit (6:30), most of our regular foresome stayed home but we were there and figured wtf. So coffees in hand we headed out. Three holes into things it wasn't raining but wasn't all that warm either so he pulled out a joint he planned to share later and we got to it. I don't think I've ever laughed so hard and played so bad. Two hits into things I was amazed, jesus christ was this weed great.

I've been playing golf longer then I've been smoking weed and if you'd seen the pair of us you'd have sworn we'd never played the game. It was like beating a snake with a stick. Its a good thing the others in our foursome don't smoke because I couldn't play golf that way.

Love to play golf, love to smoke weed but the two should not cross paths at the same time it requires far more concentration and action then I was up for.

WTF?!?!

Gives meaning to the phrase cold hard cash.
                                                                          

What do you say to this?

                                                                                      

          No privacy here.

Warp 9.......Engage.

Sometimes I think, if it weren't for bad luck, I 'd have no luck at all.  I seem to have a little bad luck when I travel back to Far From Home.  In the past I have been delayed in landing due to weather and cancelled flights due to weather.  This time time was no exception, however I did arrive but almost didn't.

This time to make my connection to my final destination I had to fly to Montreal, to catch the flight I would normally catch in Ottawa.  Apparently there were no flights from Toronto to Ottawa, if you're like me, you'd ask, "How is it possible to have no flights from Toronto to Ottawa, when they normally have 20 or more a day"?  A fair question to be sure but nonetheless it happened. 

 As a result of having to fly to Montreal to catch my connection (the originating city of the flight) I had to move my normal travel plans up by an hour.  So instead of having my limo driver coming to pick me up at 6:00 AM (the norm), I requested that I be picked up 5:00 AM for my 7:00 AM flight to Montreal.  I receive a confirmation email that my pick up and drop times are noted.

So not so bright and early Sunday morning, I await the limo.  Most times my driver,

I dub thee Mangit.

arrives early, other times he arrives right on time.  For me at least, he has never been late.  That is until yesterday.  The time is 5:05 AM, Mangit is nowhere to be seen.  I call him and unfortunately I wake him up.  What I had feared has happened.  When he received my email for pickup/drop off times, Mangit didn't fully read the email.  He assumed (and you know what they say about that) that I was to be picked up at 6:00 AM.

Mangit is appropriately upset and shocked.  He says if I can wait he will be at my place in twenty-five minutes to which I reply, "As long as you can make it here by 5:45 AM".  At 5:35 AM Mangit is rocketing up my street.  I quickly load my baggage and we're off.

Mangit is a limo driver in a large urban area, and as such drives at extreme high rates of speed on a normal day.  Sunday morning he was like the Winston Wolf character in Pulp Fiction.  He drove really fucking fast.  We we're at the airport by 6:15 AM.  Mangit's speedometer is measured in miles per hour, he was doing over 90 mph!! 

That trip was just a bit intense and a little surreal.  I say surreal because just moments before the 5:00 AM arrival I chanced to smoke a small bowl of the current stash I have for home (a mixture of high octane “coma inducing weed” and a potent long lasting mellow weed ) and was actually quite high when I got into the limo (a large black Chevy Suburban).  That's probably why I wasn't freaking out, too stoned to care. 

Have I Become Spicoli?

For those of you, who may not know, I have recently re-discovered the joys of smoking pot. After a self imposed dry spell of roughly 23 years.  Let me qualify that!  Dry only in the sense that I was not purchasing it.  I would of course turn no toke down, had it been offered to me but there wasn't all that much offering happening.  So 23 years between purchases, let's just say.

A gentleman I've made acquaintance with at the place I work has re-introduced me back into the culture.  The main reason for the self imposed dry spell was the lack of a disposable income that would afford me the ability to purchase my supply of smokables.  As luck would have it, this gentleman is also my supervisor on the project I am currently at work on.  That job allows me to use a per Diem, non-taxable and no receipts required.  That gives me a little extra cashish and a connection to some very high grade weed with relative ease. 

I have posted in the past about my family's perceived notion that I am de-evolving as a result of my work situation, being Far From Home.  That as a result of being Far From Home thus away from "civilization", that I am losing my socialization skills.  I myself attribute that "de-evolving" as the affects or after affects of all of the high quality weed I have been smoking for the last 4 going 5 months.

To be frank, I have even noticed what Wife and Daughter attribute to my condition.  Case and point.

Two days ago, while driving back home for an outing, as I approached our mailbox location (maybe 175 yards away), I asked Wife if she had gotten the mail, "No", she replied.  "Okay " I say, just to drive past the mailbox and not get the mail.  All the while Wife and Daughter laughing their fucking asses off because of the short span it took for me to forget that I wanted to get the mail.  That thought to get the mail exited my thoughts as soon as I volunteered for the job.

That sort of behaviour evokes, in my mind anyway, the stereotypical pothead a la Jeff Spicoli.  The scene that comes to mind is when he is on the phone talking about the grad party, hitting himself on the head with his shoe, not even feeling it, "Did you hear that, that's my head.  I'm soo wasted!" 

If anything is changing or de-evolving it's that I am becoming that persona.  The lovable forgetful wastoid.  A happy go lucky pot smoker.  Just living the day.  With a slight buzz on.

I can live with that.

A Brief Break

Constant Reader,
I have tried, since this blog was started, to post something everyday.  Whether it's a short article with an attempt at humour.  It might be a video clip or an article from a newspaper or some other site that I find humourous.  I make a comment, with the fervent hope that one day, one special day, somebody will make a comment and a discourse of ideas will flow.  We can then have a conversation.  A man has to dream.

However for the next few days, I will be dropping by to see if one of the other contributors have posted anything (so that I may comment on it, see how that works), but I will not be publishing anything. 

I am once again home after being away for three weeks and I will be spending that time with my family enjoying the outdoors as spring slowly gives way to summer.  I will also be sampling another fine batch of weed.  Where do you find it Male Counterpart?  See you in a few days.  Please drop by as often as you wish and feel free to sample the wares.

Lets All Do A Sing-Along

I may be dating myself................

She said Uranus

'Nuff said.

Munchies!!

Not a good place to be if you have the munchies.

Incoming!!

With a name like redneckmoose, you should expect the result.  Definately not watchers of Mythbusters. LMFAO.

New Song I'm Working On

This is the new song I am learning on the guitar.  The rythm guitar player Frank "Poncho" Sampedero's work on the studio version is utterly amazing.  Unfortunatley Neil does this version solo.  One of my all time favourite Neil Young and Crazy Horse songs.

We destroyed music

It occurred to me recently that we've destroyed music. No, there is lots of tunes out there, a good piece of it is pretty good too. No we destroyed music by removing what was for me a huge piece of the experience of it. Trolling through the stacks of the record store .. hell there were afternoons spent in record stores with a buzz on flipping through the stacks ... I miss that. Even the HMVesk store added a sterile corporate view to the poster and edgy feel of old school record stores.

I miss album covers or more to the point album art work which was a bonus in retrospect. The sometimes funny, sometimes socially relevant but almost always thought provoking album art disappeared about the time cds hit the shelves .. or more to the point less significant in the grande scheme. The liner notes, the producer ,the recording studio, the lyrics all lent something to the experience of rushing home to spin that new album, looking back cds were only the start of the erosion. You were in my mind more engaged in the music, understood the source better it was simply MORE. I love music, many styles, artists, the catalogue of certain artists work, where they came from, where they got to. Music, as has most media, become far too disposable, we're not as engaged by it on so many levels.

Besides I was cleaning up some sticks from a quad and realized it would have been easier if I had an album cover I no longer had.

I can't wait.....

This is what awaits me when I get home.  Good buds and family,
what could be better?

Long Live Rock 'n' Roll

Has it really been a year since Ronnie James Dio left us?!  I only have one thing to say....

LoL this is for all the wives and girlfriends out there...

Gotta Go?

Are we as the male of the species that lazy?



Wait a sec.....peeing.....ahhhh.......where was I?

New Restaurant Fad?

This does solve the need for dishwashers, but who is responsible for cleaning the tables?  Maybe you have lick the table clean?
Ewwwww!!

Bad Parenting

Ooohh baby....ohhh yeah....ooooo....yeah

I think that these pictures fall under the category of bad parenting.




















Wmmm mmm mmmm hmmm lmmmmm
(loosely translated, watch Mommie and learn)





Pay close attention to the looks on the childrens faces.

How To Feel Your Nuts

I guess this something that each man, as he gets older, should submit to.  I'd much prefer her feeling my nuts!  A task, immeasurably more fun, when aided by a partner of your choosing and/or with a slight buzz on.

Then again, what isn't more fun, with a slight buzz on?

Slight Bummer

I came to a sad realization last night.  During my evening puff, I decided that I would use my Magic Flight Launch Box.  It has suited me well in my stay Far From Home.  Using it to sample the local greenery, when it can be found.

After the first two hits, I don't feel it like I'm thinking I should.  I have posted about this already.  I'm not feeling as stoned as I get when I smoke the same amount in a pipe.  So now I'm thinking about the last three months.  It's almost like I wasted all the weed I was smoking in it!

Live and learn.  It's unfortunate that's the way is has to be.  At the time it was well worth the money it cost to purchase the Launch Box.  I am seeing more benefit at this point to go back to pipe smoking than with remaining the Launch Box, maybe use it once in a while instead.

Fisherman's Friend here I come!!

RRRRRRRRRR.......

CANOE -- JAM: Maxim's 'Hot 100' list


Some lovely ladies to look at while you're having your morning puff.  After having perused the entire list, I have to wonder what the fuck were the judges smoking, when choosing some of the "Hot 100".  There are quite a number of "Not So Hot, Hot 100". 

Word of warning, close your eyes when you get to number 84 on the "Hot 100".  Yikes!!  Why the long face, honey?  She's apt to scare you straight.  Caution is strongly advised when viewing that "Hottie"!!

Sperm Collector

Win? Win?



Sperm Collector

The science behind beer goggles...admit it, we've all done this

It's time for everyone to come out of the closet on this one.  We've all done it.  A few of you may even have done it last night.  I'm not ashamed to say I've done it myself...once...twice...OK...more than twice.

C'mon people.  SPEAK UP!!  I know there are people reading this blog.  Let's hear what you have to say.  Take a chance and voice an opinion; relate a story, good, bad or funny. 

Quit hiding and start a fucking dialog!!


The science behind beer goggles Sex Files Life Toronto Sun

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mothers Day to all the mothers of the world.  Life is better because of you.  An especially Happy Mothers Day to my mother and the mother of my children.  I love you both very much!!<3

Inmate breaks up fight between guards

Who's running this asylum anyways???


Inmate breaks up fight between guards Weird News Toronto Sun

Woman sues ex-husband over impotence | Weird | News | Toronto Sun

Woman sues ex-husband over impotence Weird News Toronto Sun

Sometimes there's just no pleasing the fairer sex, some women just want it all. 

The Smaller It Gets The Further It Goes

It amazes me how the smallest things can make the biggest impacts.  Like having something that diminishes over time.

One day you have it. Whatever it is.  You have enough.  Then slowly, steadily it diminishes. You notice it one day.  It seems like there's less.  You rationalize.  You still have enough....don't you?

Everyday it dwindles, less and less.  You start to ration it out.  The smaller it gets the further its gotta go.  Then one day, you're down to the last precious

gollum

remains.  You're a little sad.  You've been looking to replace it, but it doesn't seem to be around.  Things start to seem a little more grey, a little more muted.

Miraculously, one day  it falls right into your lap!  Right in the nick of time!!  You get a jump in your step.  You once again have enough.  That small little surprise changes your outlook.  No longer as grey, no longer as muted.

Ahhh.  Let me sit back and enjoy this little surprise.  Yeah, that's more like it!  'Ere, take it. 

Enjoy.

What Day Is This?

When I am Far From Home at work, the days seem to meld into one long day.  Most days I really don't know what day it is!!  I was talking with Daughter last night on the phone.  I had been trying to tell her about what I was doing on certain days so far, and kept getting the days mixed up.  Finally I had to ask her what day it was.

She immediately attributed that to the de-socialized animal she and Wife believe I am morphing into.  I, of course discredited those findings and told her that I believe it has to do with the way we have ourselves scheduled to work here.  We work long hours during  the work week as well as on weekends.  So the perception, at least during the daylight hours, is that we are always working, cooped up in our "lab", with our intravenous feed of the Internet, jonesing for work.

As I was talking with Daughter, I realized that it is only going to get worse.  Right now, Far From Home is gaining large amounts of daylight every day.  To the point that in late May early June we will have about 20 hours of day light.  The working hours, melding into one long day, will really turn into one long day!!

AAAAAUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

Then of course, it could be the weed I'm smoking too.

Clowns Anyone?

Anybody scared of clowns?  Say hi to Pennywise.  The most evilist of clowns.

He hungers for your children.  Muahahahahaha!!!

TD Smokemeister Bids Farewell.

Time for a new pseudonym.  I wasn't real all that happy with the other one.  That name has it's place, but as a "by line" it felt a little pretentious.  The new one may also seem that way, not sure yet.  We'll see how it works, how it grows on me.  Plays on words are always fun.  This may yet be a work in progress.  I am open to suggestions.

.........and no w8n4night, Bug Boy is not a viable option.

Googled

Google never ceases to amaze or fail to make me laugh!  I Googled "monkey pigout" in images.  I thought I may find a plethora of pictutes of monkeys eating, you know, pigging out.  I was trying to find some humourous inspiration, what can I say?  Amongst 27,300 hits, I found this picture.  Join me in saying,

"What the fuck, are they being chased away or lured in.  More to the point...why"?

Online date goes horribly wrong - Weird News - Canoe.ca

Online date goes horribly wrong - Weird News - Canoe.ca


Is anyone else thinking what I'm thinking?  What right does she have?  She showed up for fucks sake!!

Bitch Stewie & Bitch Brian

Whew!! That's a relief!!

I was really worried there for a while last night.  As you may or may not know, I returned to my job, "Far From Home" yesterday.  After spending a week smoking some of the best shit I've smoked in years (I can say that with complete honesty after an out of necessity self imposed dry spell of seven years), I became worried that I had spoiled myself.

After unpacking yesterday, I didn't really feel like doing much.  Probably a little "whoa is me club" time.  Just wanted to sit on my ass and smoke some of the stash I have here.  Not as high quality as what I have currently down south, but still very good. 

There are differences to what and how I smoke here at work "Far From Home".
Needless to say the quality is far superior southward.  The local version for what passes as weed, is smokeable albeit raunchy.  When compared to the present strain at home, you would have to smoke a gram (worth $30.00, I bought a half at home, to get the same amount I would have had to spend close to $300.00) to get as high as I would off of one pipe hit.

When at home, I smoke from a brass pipe called a Proto Pipe, smelly but very effective.  It does not require screens (I use 'em anyway, I don't like eating while I smoke).

 


When "Far From Home" I use what is called Magic Flight Launch Box.  A battery powered vapourizer.

If you have never tried vapourizing, I would recommend that you at least try it.  It IS supposed to be healthier because your not "smoking" it.  The weed never burns (almost never anyways, it did ignite on me once in the launch box, it's not supposed to but what can you do when it starts smoking inside the chamber, am I not gonna inhale it).  The device heats up to a certain temperature and the "super happy fun time stuff" vapourizes and you inhale the vapour.  A little bit of a different high.  More of a body high, compared to the spike that goes straight to my brain after one hit of the "Tar'lito" (as I've dubbed it).

I wasn't really "feeling it", if you know what I mean Vern.  That was until I got up to move around and then it was, "Ohh Yeah, that's it".  All the while, from like 3:00 pm until 7:00 pm, after a number of hits from the Launch Box, and not really feeling I was getting worried that to get the full effect I would have to smoke my entire stash (not very large at this point) to get the same effect, not that I WOULDN'T GLADLY, do it, I don't want to go dry up here.  I've done it before, and it wasn't pretty.

How I felt when I came back to "Far From Home"

The election

Not much into politics anymore, past a certain point you can get pretty jaded, truth is a good chunk of life has the potential to jade you. Politically speaking I'm more of a Libertarian which should say quite a bit of who I am.

I've voted a lot of times, about every 2-3 elections I'm sure that "this will be the one where we get weed legalized" I'm past the point of caring really, my reliance on external sources for high quality herb has been lessened, my risk of getting caught is extremely low to nil ... I don't exactly fit the demographic profile anymore and I own my own place. I'd say the odds are in my favor.

The point is .. its still illegal and charges of any kind could be career ending and seriously damaging a reputation I've worked hard to foster. Its not right, I'm not nor have I ever been a criminal. So don't make it legal, at this point I could care less .. but do de-criminalize it. For most people the "criminal" activity, if any was being forced to wade through the bars and friends of friends to buy it and then transport it anywhere and everywhere, usually in a situation where we did fit the profile. We're not criminals, the government needs to stop ruining lives and careers over a joint or a bowl. Issue me summary conviction tickets at 100.00 a shot for up to a half ounce and up to 300.00 for a couple ozs. Based on history alone I'll never have to pay the fine. Don't support legalizing it either, as I said at this point I could care less, just stop creating criminals where there aren't any.

I will now climb off my soapbox a soapstone a wee small bowl.

New Author

I would like to welcome a very close personal friend to our list of authors for this Blog.  I have known this person for like ever.  He is posting under the name w8n4night and has graciously agreed to publish some posts, event though it's new for him.  Please join me in welcoming our newest author.

The First Day Of The Beginning Of The End

Today the end begins! 

"Ends?", you ask, "what ends?"  My sanity?  A fair guess, my sanity has slowly been eroding for years.  It's not a stretch to believe that the current job has finally scraped away what little sanity I do have.  No, not my sanity.

The end of the world?  No silly, everyone knows that doesn't happen until next year and by all accounts survivours spend a lot of time outracing shockwaves and tsunami's.  No, the world isn't ending......not yet.

The end that I am referring to is the end of my elongated tour of work.  I am officially at the halfway point.  From today forward, the number of days start to get smaller.  When I volunteered for this longer tour, I had no idea how it was going to affect me.  I can say with 100% certainty, six months is far too long.  During my most recent week off one thought kept recurring; if I were working a normal rotation, I wouldn't have had to fly back to my "home" away from home.

I have arrived safely back to my work home.  So far, not much has changed.  Not much to do but watch some T.V. and get high.  The weather is a little warmer, the roads a little muddier and my eyes are still open for the Scumbag Dealer.  I'll see him again, I'm sure.  In the meantime, I have come to terms with the current job and how it sits.  They have once again said "It's going to get real busy now".  Pardon me for saying but "I'll believe that when I see it".

I should also ask Constant Reader, to keep you're eyes glued to the news for a middle aged technician going crazy in his condo, glued to his chair in front of his laptop, most likely publishing a blog post.  The screen filled with:

All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.

I'm Walking ... Yes Indeed I'm Walking

As I get older I've come to realize how little use I have for winter. It's hard to explain beyond it feeling like a breaker gets thrown and we slip into hibernation. But winters over !

Golf has started, I've got 5 in so far and found out today I can't play three in a row and have my legs hold my swing ... it got a little adventurous this morning. I've been walking after dinner for a couple weeks now a good hour at a decent pace. It's also my favorite time to include a couple quick hits and listen my newest song list at a volume that would injure weaker men. One note though, if your going to have a couple hits and get right into your walk remember one thing ... you have to walk back ! Walked a straight line from the house last night and near needed to call a cab to get home when I realized how far I'd walked.

Aside from everything else its spring, golf season is underway and a couple hits and a walk at 16C or so is infinitely better then -20C

The Worst Part Of The Week Off

I am at the inevitable end of the Banked Week off.  The worst part of the week off.  Knowing that you only have a couple of days remaining to spend with your family.  I have the time but some do not.  Although I get the week off I forget that Wife still works.  Today she was off until noon her normal routine for Fridays, she then works from 1:00 pm until 9:00 pm. 

The good thing this week was that Daughter has completed her second year of college and is taking some time off between her last class and when she starts to work full time through the summer.  Luckily I have gotten to spend a lot of time with her this time back.  Lunch date, shopping and some running around.

Son and I spent the very beginning of the week together.  There was a store that he needed to visit.  The store happened to be in another city (relatively close by) so a road trip was launched to said Mall.  Spent the day travelling around the sprawling metropolis, I surely do like doing that!!

It's nice to come back and get reacquainted with the family, because there is that three week period where their lives continue, without me being there.  It's like their lives get frozen in a moment, that moment stays like that until the next time I see them.  Their lives continue on, even with out me being there. 

So you look forward to that one week in four where you get to return and re-connect with your family and start all over again.  Discovery.  Familiarity.   Separation.  Re-Connection.


I am getting ready to leave.  I have about a day and a half left before I fly back to where I am working.  Then the three week countdown begins.

Been There.....Done That.....Bought a T-Shirt

Red Gets High-The Best Circle Moment Ever

Going to California

SCIENCE!!

Doctors!!

I had a follow up doctors appointement this morning.  A quick hit, and away I go.  I hate when you go to the doctor and all they really have to say is,

"You're fat, quit being fat, if you do I'll take you off the meds, If you don't I'll put you on more meds". 

Then send me for more blood work because I drank too much alcohol last month and skewed some results or made other readings get higher because of the way it mixes with one of my meds.

I was blissful a few years ago.  Ahhh, those were the good old days.  Eat what I want, drink what I want, smoke what I want.  Just go to the doctor when I felt under the weather.  Now I have a family doctor and I feel like I'm part of the "Old Body Warranty" program.  See me every year and I'll send you on numerous tests, just so I can justify myself as your doctor and get paid.  "Oh and by the way, let me stick my finger in your ass, up to my elbow while you wait".

She sounded quite serious.  Maybe I will try a little harder to shed some of the extra poundage I carry around with me.  She is supposed to be concerned about my over all health and safety.  Maybe she does know what she's talking about 

Behind My Browns

The smoking of weed, although a very social activity, is also a very private thing.  Social in the fact that all us dope smokers like to get together to smoke it together.  Private in the fact in most instances dope smoking is attached a negative stigma, to have the few who view it that way know can have an impact on your daily dealings with them.  In an effort to have not to explain, we take any means possible to keep that private.  It makes life easier that way.

I can also take some control away from that.  Almost like,

"I know something you don't.  Heh, I'm high, you're not and you have no clue I'm high".

I'm putting one over on you, I've got a leg up.........you get the idea.  Like some one, some altered ego is actually looking out through my eyes but from somewhere behind, somewhere inside my mind's eye.  All he ever wants to do is just...look.  See what's going on.  Someone sitting and looking out from behind my browns.

This person from behind my browns is essentially me, but sees thing just a little differently, from a different perspective.  He's little more relaxed.  Not worried about "snapping to" every time someone calls or emails.  I like that aspect about the Behind the Browns guy.  A thing I seek to change about the in front me. 

Behind the Browns guy also seems to be a little more creative.  No that's not quite right, Behind the Browns guy allows himself to be expressive, through writing and playing guitar.
I like that about Behind the Browns guy.  Allowing someone to see an emotive side where you're out there for all to see.

Behind the Browns guy has some of the better parts of me.  He lives where the young live.  In music and word and ideas.   I hope to never lose that part of me. The part that Behind the Browns guy is, or who reminds me of who I used to be.  I like being reminded of youth.  I lost track of that person a long time ago and it took me a long time to rediscover him.  I don't want to lose that. 

Request From The Editors

I don't know how many people are actually reading the blog or just passing it by.  I can see by our hit meter people are stopping by.  Thank you, much appreciated.  I hope you found some enjoyment out of it.  I've really no illusions as to how this little endeavour will turn out?

Will it become more than I can handle?  Many followers, many submitters?  Who knows.  I have contacted some people I know to see if they want to contribute, and they are deciding.  I hope they come aboard.  I just wanted to have some where I could communicate with people in a circle fashion like we all have done in Foreman's Basement.

So my request goes out to those who may actually read the blog,

What sort of content would you like to see?  I will take any idea into consideration.  

Within reason and can be done such that I don't get "married" to it.  I believe I am going to continue with the side bar polls.  I could always use good suggestions for Polls.  If you become a submitter to the blog we can discuss the ability to make design changes to the blog itself.
I like to look at it like this:

"The blog is for you to make in whatever image you choose".

Come on, don't be shy!  I know there are people looking, you just need to speak up and try.  Just write a small story about you, what YOU know, what YOU'VE experienced. 

Comment on one of the numerous posts.  The one good thing about me is that I can come up with an opinion on just about anything.  I look forward to seeing the input.  If you have any questions or suggestions flip me a note at tdsmokemeister@gmail.com. 

 

I had occasion to visit my local Big Box Store today.  A quick hit and away I go.  This song immediately came to mind.

Pinky and The Brain

Please forgive the water mark on the video but it was the only one I could find that was the actual opening to the show.  NARF!!

Weird Stuff

Scumbag Dealer

I've had the misfortune of becoming acquainted with a Scumbag Dealer.  I am currently working on a job that takes me far away from my home.  As with all new locations it becomes hard trying to find a reliable dealer.  Working where I am makes it hard for me to find any local weed.  First off all the dealers are locals and they can tell who the new guys are.  Secondly.  They don't trust Caucasian people.

Luckily (or so I thought) I located a local guy who seemed quite reliable.  I saw him a total of 3 times and each time he provided me with the local, very expensive version of what they call weed.  Not a very high quality for $30/gram.

A few weeks ago, I had just returned to my "work home".  I had a very little amount which quickly ran dry.  For 5 days I looked for "My Guy".  One bright cheery Saturday morning I spy him out and he recognizes me and calls me over.  He asks "You lookin' to buy anything"?, to which I reply "Yes".  I see him a few minutes later and he says that he has to give the guy the money for the weed, he needs my cash up front.  I figure that this guy has been reliable enough, I give him my cash. 

I have yet to see his face in a situation where I may be able to recoup my cash or weed.  I saw him this past Friday as I made my way home.  I passed him while I was in my taxi going to the airport.  He is very easy to see.  Whatever coat he wears, he also wears a yellow hoody, that you can see for miles.  I'll get my money's worth.  One way or another.